Just Another Life Story
by Rini0106
Summary: Bella having to deal with ALOT and lets see how much edward can help her. look, i suck at summarys just read it. M for cutting abuse and maybe lemons later my first story so go easy on me.
1. End of The Happy Middle

Chapter 1-End of the Happy Middle

My life was good. I was as happy as possible in the little town of Forks, Washington. It was the longest my mom has stayed in the same place. Those two years were amazing. I had the best friends who were the most awesome people in the world. The house was small but perfect and though I had no "story book life" or anything of that sort, I was happy for once. I was in the middle where I knew anything could change from this at any moment. I just didn't think it would be now.

My mom rudely made up her mind that we were leaving in a week to Arizona! A fucking week! She wouldn't budge, even when I begged her. I stared at my true home…never wanting to be anywhere but here.

"Bella?" My best friend, Edward, pulled me out of my daze. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah...Fine," I lied very unconvincingly.

"Alright, I don't believe you."

Edward is the one person in the world who completely knows me. We've been best friends since my first day at Forks High School. I was a new student that day and being the klutz that I am, I tripped and landed right on him. I had been expecting him to get mad at me but he just started laughing and helped me up. He asked me if I needed help getting around and there was no way I could say no to that dazzling face. We started to get to know each other and later that day I found out he was my next-door neighbor.

"Where's Jessica?" I asked acidly. Jessica is Edwards girlfriend. She treats him like shit and tells him what to do all the time. It really pisses me off. Did I mention that she _hates _me? So he sees me way less than he used to.

"We got in another fight," He sighed. "She got mad because…nevermind"

"What Edward?"

"Nothing"

My eyes narrowed. "Oh really? It's me, isn't it? She doesn't want you to talk to me anymore or she'll break up with you. Am I right?"

"Chillax Bella. I told her to deal with it. You're my best friend and she's going to have to handle that." Edward said, pulling me into his arms. "You know I can't be away from you."

I gulped. I couldn't tell him I was leaving now. I would make him so sad. He doesn't deserve this. Edward deserves so much more. How could I leave him?

As we walked to school, laughing and talking about nothing as usual, my mind was deep in thought. I was trying to figure out how I was going to tell him, what I was going to say, and what I could do to fix this. I couldn't figure anything out. I was stuck.

"Baby...I'm really sorry. I love you." Jessica's whiny voice said as soon as we walked through the doors. She wrapped her arms around his waist and glared at me from his shoulder.

"Uh…Ill see you later," Edward stuttered as Jessica dragged him away from me.

I sighed.

Rose ran up to me a couple minutes later. "I heard...I'm so sorry Bella. I don't want you to go." She hugged me so tight that I couldn't breathe.

Rosalie is my cousin and we've been really close as long as I can remember. She's pretty much the reason I live here in the first place. We came here to visit two years ago and we never left. Rose's much prettier than me. She has long blonde hair and an angel like face. All the guys hit on her at first but she can be really scary when she gets pissed. Trust me. Anyways…

"Hey," I whispered. "I haven't told Edward yet!"

"Oh. Well you better tell him soon. I would hate for me to have to." she warned

"Don't worry I will."

The day went like any other day besides the fact that I wanted to throw myself off a cliff. I couldn't believe what was happening. I have to leave again. Argh!

I banged my forehead against the brick wall, waiting for Edward to come outside. Suddenly someone grabbed my waist and pulled me into their arms.

"Really Bella, what's wrong with you today? I've never seen you look that miserable." Edwards's voice said into my ear.

I shook my head. "I'm fine. Sorry."

He was giving me worried looks the whole walk home. Edward always knew when something was up and the fact that I wouldn't tell him was driving him insane.

"Hey. Relax," I said putting my hands on his face. "It's all good."

"No, its not. And I want to know what it is." he pouted.

I bit my lip. "I'll tell you tomorrow okay?"

"Fine." He sighed.

As I walked into my house my mom was packing up the kitchen. I decided to beg her one more time, but something told me it wouldn't end so well.

"Mom, I don't want to go!"

"Bella, why are you being so difficult about this?" she glared at me.

Uh oh. She's getting mad. "Because I'm happy here! What don't you understand about that?" I yelled, trying to hold back tears_. Why am I freaking like this?_

"You need to stop being so selfish! We are leaving if you like it or not. I'm so tired of this!" She walked over to me and slapped me right in the face. "Deal with it."

I stormed out of the house and tried to calm myself down before I did something stupid.

What? Old mom is back?

I slid down the door of the garage, letting the tears fall.

I was suddenly very numb and shaky. What was I going to do? I couldn't tell Edward because he would be worried and sad and this is defiantly something I couldn't tell Rose. I had to handle this all on my own. Shit.

That's when I saw the razor my mom uses to open boxes with on one of the shelves and I suddenly knew what to do. I pulled up my sleeve and took a deep breath…


	2. Telling The Truth

_Hey guys..umm..yeah sorry if you hate it. I know its not good. I did what I can. Im working on a better story idea but I figured Id just post this anyways_

I woke up the next morning twenty minutes late, glaring at my arm. I pulled on a random t-shirt (Twilight probably, my new obsession) and put on a pair of black skinny jeans. My hair was pulled back into a messy brown bun and I didn't bother putting makeup on. I quickly covered my arm with 50 different bracelets, even though it didn't cover anything, and ran down the stairs, pulling my Converse on as I went.

Thankfully my mom wasn't home and I grabbed my backpack and slipped out the door, rushing to get to school in the little time that I had. The run was nice. It kept my mind off of all my problems. But as soon as I got to school Rosalie had to attack me.

"You better tell Edward today Bella or I swear I will tell him myself! It's not fair to him! He deserves to know by now!" she yelled at me. I was used to it. Everyone knew not to mess with Rose.

"Okay, okay. I will." I said quickly. I hated when she got mad at me. "You better," she glared, before smiling, giving me a hug and running off to class.

_______________________________________________

I stood at my locker, putting things in my backpack, scared shitless about telling Edward. I danced along to "Heels Over Head" by Boys Like Girls until I felt arms wrapped around my waist. I turned around to see the deep green eyes of my best friend staring back at me. I had to admit, he was looking amazing today. He had his light brown hair in messy disarray but somehow it looked perfect and he wore a striped black hoodie with dark jeans that somehow only he could pull off right. Shut it...concentrate on telling him what you need to tell him....gotta get it over with.

"So, what's this you want to tell me?" he asked cheerfully.

God damnit…Just say it.

"Edward, I'm moving…soon," I whispered.

The color drained out of his face. "When?" he asked agonized.

"A week..15th time," I murmured.

"Bu-but why?"

"I don't know," His eyes lost all expression. He turned away from me and walked down the hall without a backward glance. I sighed and turned back to packing up my locker. I hated to leave Edward and I knew that look too well. I probably hurt him so bad. I promised him I wouldn't leave him and now I couldn't do anything about it. I pulled on my Paramore hoodie, slightly wincing as it touched my arm and set off to go find him.

I found Edward sitting against a wall outside of school crying.

"Hey, hey, why are you crying? I thought you would want me gone so you wouldn't have to deal with Jes yelling at you all the time." I laughed shakily knowing I was lying.

"How could you think that?!" he whispered. "You're my best friend and I can't be without you. Besides I broke up with Jessica this morning...You. You're the one I've always wanted." I gasped and slowly sat down next to him.

"I love you Bella," he said. "Always have"

I was absolutely stunned. I always liked him...but to me, it seemed impossible. Figures that now that I'm leaving, never to come back, he tells me. Isn't it great how things work out?

I ignored the sarcasm in my head and smiled up at him. "I love you too Edward."

"Good" He grabbed my hand but stopped when I flinched. He gave me a look that was both confused and nervous "Bella? Let me see your arm."

Great.

"I don't think that's a good idea" I said slowly.

"Bella. Now." He grabbed my arm and pulled back my sleeve, revealing 3 gashes across my right arm. He gasped. "Why?" he asked sadly, running his fingers through his shaggy brown hair.

"Yesterday, my mom ....I..I" Nothing was able to come out of my mouth. He pulled me into his arms and I cried on his shoulder as he rubbed soothing circles on my back.

"Bella, look at me. Please..please don't do that again..I'm here and I wont let you be hurt, understand?"

"You don't hate me? Think I'm a monster?" I asked my voice braking. Edward looked at me agonized. "Bella! Stop! I just confessed my love to you! Of course I don't hate you. You just...don't keep doing that..I can't see you hurt like this. It would be better if you cut me."

I gasped. "No never! I won't do it again. It was stupid of me"

He kissed my forehead. "Good"

We sat there for awhile, neither of us wanting to move as I explained to him what happened with my mom, until we both decided to go back to my house to pack.

"Bella?" Edward asked as he put some of my Cds in a box.

"Yeah Edward?"

"Why did you do that? Why couldn't you have just came over to my house and told me what was going on?" He asked frustrated.

"I didn't want to worry you." I shrugged.

He growled. "You didn't want to worry me?! Are you fucking kidding me Bella? I worry about you every second of the day! You are the most important thing to me." I put my hand on his cheek and he relaxed slightly under my touch, putting his hand over mine. He sighed and started shaking slightly. I could tell he was about to lose it. "Just please" he sobbed "Don't keep things from me. I don't want to lose you...Even though I already am" He slunk down to the floor and tears fell silently from his cheeks.

Why did I have to hurt him? I needed to make him happy but I couldn't. I couldn't make him happy. I was ruining his life and that pissed me off.

"Edward! I can't take this anymore! I'm hurting you. You deserve so much better. You should be happy that I'm leaving!"

He walked up to me and put a finger under my chin and pulling it up to meet his eyes. "No Bells. It took me long enough to tell you how I feel. Regardless, I'm not letting you go anywhere. I love you." He pulled me into a kiss as my mom walked into my room.

"Bella, May I ask who-Oh hello Edward! You guys! Finally!" my mom clapped cheerfully as if nothing ever happened.

"Mrs. Swan." Edward nodded at her coldly. "Bella, I should get home. I'll call you later." He kissed my forehead, gave her one more glare and walked out the door. As soon as the front door shut her face became icy.

"HOW DARE YOU. WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN TELL HIM?" She yelled. I felt a sharp pain in my head and then I blacked out.


	3. Moron

_Hey! Thank you guys for reading my story. Reviews would be good cause then I could see what I need to work on! __J_

_Oh! I forgot a disclaimer _

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight series, the amazing Stephenie Meyer does.**

Chapter 3- Moron

I came slightly back to consciousness seeing glimpses of my mom, a view of the stairs and Rose's worried face. The only thing I heard though, is the voice I would know anywhere. He sounded upset...

"Bella! Bella wake up! Come on! You fall all the time...you can wake up! Listen to me damn it!" Edward was freaking out.

Blah. I was losing him.. no! I cant lose his voice! argh! I fell back into nothing but blackness.

_______________________________________________

My eyelids cracked open and everything came back. I realized what happened and I bolted straight up in delayed fear hitting heads with Edward who had been leaning over me.

"Ow!!" we both yelped in pain. I looked over at Rose in the corner of the room and her lips were pressed together in a hard line to keep her from laughing. Edward and I looked at eachother, at our red foreheads and then at Rosalie until all three of us burst out into laughter but I had to stop quickly due to the sharp pain in the back of my head. I winced slightly. Rose instantly became serious.

"Bells, what the hell happened? Your mom called and said you fell down the stairs! "-Anger contorted my face for a quick second-" So I called Edward and we rushed over here. You had us so worried! I mean honestly, watch where you step!" She yelled frusterated.

"I know" I said slowly "I'm sorry Rose."

She ran over to me and kissed my cheek. "It's fine. I just don't want anything to happen to you. I'm your cousin and its my duty to make sure your okay!" she saluted me, back to her normal self. "Get it?"

"Got it." I giggled, hugging her.

My mom decided to use that time to come in with an ice pack and a look of worry on her face, ruining another perfectly good moment. She made statements like any other person would if their daughter fell down the stairs and told me not to be so klutzy. She reached down to give me a hug and ended up by my ear. Of course as my mom she had to say something.

"Don't you dare tell them anything. Do you hear me? This is all your fault. If you hadn't been acting so stupid, I wouldn't have had to hit you in the first place. _GOT _it?" she whispered threateningly.

Oh joy... The old mom was back. I started to cry and she patted my shoulders, and left the room. I looked all around my poster covered room and then over at Edward, who hadn't said one word at all. He looked furious. Shit. He knew what was going on.

"Hey Rose?" he said quietly. "Can I talk to Bella for a second?"

Rose rolled her eyes. "Sure. Lovebirds."

As soon as the door closed he pulled me into his arms and kissed me roughly until I started to feel dizzy. "Bella, Bella, I am so sorry. Your mom...I...shouldn't have left you alone like that." He wouldn't meet my eyes.

He gripped his arm tighter and closed his eyes. It wasn't right for him to be in this. I had to lie..._Say it was you head! Yeah…Be strong Bella. Be strong. Don't tell him. Breathe._

I listened to my head, "My mom? No I fell." I lied unconvincingly.

"Then why did you just start crying?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm fine... I'm sorry. My head just hurts."

"Ah. Bella. I wish you wouldn't lie to me. I know you so well. Just like how I saw the anger come into your eyes when Rose said you fell down the stairs and how your mom wasn't worried enough. Also Bella, you're a klutz. Your fall ALOT...breaking bones sometimes even but I've never seen you cry at all. You're stronger than that. Please…I want you to trust me. It's your mom. She did this and it's…all my fault." he whispered clearly in pain.

"Edward, No. Shh. This has nothing to do with you! Do you understand me? Nothing. My mom..is just..scary sometimes."

He looked up alarmed. "She's done this before? She usually acts like this?" I looked away from his gaze. I didn't want to think back. I couldn't. I tried to get up, ignoring him.

He pushed me back down. "Bells...please."

As he said that, I let myself remember. Memories flooded my head. Things I hated pushed passed everything. "It's not something you want to hear Edward...But fine. Since I got here, my life has been amazing and my mom was a whole new wonderful person but she didn't used to be. When I was younger my dad treated her terribly. I used to feel so bad and try to stand up for her but my dad wouldn't take that. He treated me just the same..sometimes worse. Because my mom decided to give in..she treated me like he did. I started to be afraid to say anything, scared they would take it the wrong way. It got to a point where I couldn't take it anymore...and back then…My arm,"- I looked down at my bandaged right arm- "looked alot worse than it does now. They needed to break up. They finally did when I was 14, I was so happy but my mom, she was scarred. She treated me no different than before. We decided to leave then and go to new places and look for one that made her happy. Then she found here and since then, she's been an amazing mother. I don't know why..she chose to leave now..Shes..back to normal.." I had trouble finishing. It was getting hard to breathe.

Edward breathed shakily. "Wow...I'm so sorry ... I've known you for two years and I had no fucking clue what you've been through. I can't believe this.......YOU don't deserve this. You deserve a happy life Bella. One that lets me see that beautiful smile on your face every single day." He looked at me sadly and pulled me onto his lap.I wanted to shoot myself. _Why did you tell him that? You were supposed to make him feel better…not make him feel bad for you!_

I shook my head and sighed. "I love you Edward. Ill figure something out. I promise."

"Yes. Yes _we _will." He smiled that smile that made my heart melt.

I smiled back warmly. The only problem was, in my head I was thinking, _You. Are. A moron. Do you know what you just did? This is not good.._


	4. The Plan

_Hey guys, bear with me here. I know this chapter is bad. I really would like some constructive criticism though. Please continue reading after this chapter if you want_.

Chapter 4- Plan

_Spotlight_ by Mutemath was blaring all over my room as I danced around throwing things into boxes. I stopped to stare longingly at all the posters covering every inch of the walls. They were pretty much the last thing in my room that needed to be packed. I sighed and started to peel them off the walls.

Rosalie and Edward were pacing my room trying to think of ways to keep me from going.

"How bout if we get a giant hose and then…" Rose was thinking out loud. I had to bite my lip to keep from giggling. I don't want to know what she was thinking.

Edward looked like he was deep in thought about something and he was pacing faster. Out of nowhere he ran out the door and out of the house. I looked up from one of the posters, confused.

"What was that about?" Rose asked.

"I have no idea," I laughed.

"Hey, can I have this?" she asked, holding up one of my Twilight posters.

I raised my eyebrow at her. "I'm not dying! My stuff doesn't need to be given away."

"I just thought I should have something to remember you by, and it would be awesome if it was a poster of a hot guy named Rob Pattinson." She said seriously.

Before I even had the chance to answer, Edward came sprinting back into the room, rain glistening in his hair.

"Hey, where'd you go? You were only gone for like two seconds," Rose laughed. "You didn't even let us plan a search party!"

Edward smiled. "I have a plan."

"Does it involve giant spiders?" Rose asked.

"No."

"What about expensive cars?"

"No."

"A knife so we can stab Bella's mom repeatedly for being such a bitch to her?"

Edward and I stared at her shocked. She took one look at us before rolling on the ground laughing.

"Your…faces…are…so…funny!!" She gasped between laughs. "You guys honestly thought that I didn't know about this whole thing? I'm not that stupid! Hun, you're my cousin. I know you so well and I might have listened through the door while you guys were talking earlier…hehe. Anyways, It's gonna be fine. Me and Eddie over here will help you to the best of out abilities"

Edward nodded, agreeing before he realized what she said. His face twisted like he tasted something disgusting. "Did you just call me Eddie?"

"Yep!"

I still hadn't spoken. I was dragging my best friends into my problems and I wasn't happy about it. _No one _was supposed to know and this wasn't supposed to happen! We were going to go through our junior year as happy as clams! Millions of things swirled through my head that we planned to do in the future, things I could no longer look forward to. I wanted to give up and just go. It wouldn't cause as much pain as I've been causing. I glared at the floor feeling pathetic and miserable.

"Hey, are you crying?" Edward's smooth voice asked, concerned.

I touched my cheek and was surprised to feel tears. "No."

"Of course not. Come here." He said opening his arms. I walked up to him and leaned on his chest. He reached down and wiped away my tears. "I don't want you to be upset… I want to see you smile."

I gave him a weak smile and he frowned. Gotta change the subject... "Let's hear that plan of yours. I'm sure its genius."

He laughed. "Actually, it's simple but yes, it's very genius. I was thinking you could live with me. We have a guest bedroom, my mom loves you and I'd get to see you every single day. It'd be perfect."

"You…want...me to live with you?" I asked confused.

"Well if you don't want to, I understand."

"No you dork," I said rolling my eyes. "Of course I would want to live with you. I just didn't know you wanted me too. I mean I understand you feel bad but…"

Edward sighed. "Now who's the dork? Bella, you don't know how amazing that would be. I've been in love with you since I first met you. Yeah, it sounds like a line from a movie but deal with it. I would love nothing more then that."

Rosalie grinned excitedly at his plan. "Yeah! Defiantly! That's perfect and you could always live with me too. Aunt Pricilla would love nothing more then to have you live with us, Right Eddie?"

Edward glared at her before rolling his eyes and smiling at me. "Or you could do that. As long as you're here with me and you're happy Bella." He pulled me tighter in to his arms and nuzzled my neck with his nose.

"Aw! That's it! Group hug!" Rose screamed, tackling us. We all landed on the floor surprised but laughing hysterically.

"Nice Rose." I said after a couple minutes, still giggling.

"Anyways, as I was saying before we were rudely tackled," Edward glared playfully at her. She stuck her tongue out at him. "Either way Bella we'd love for you to stay with us. So what do you say?"

"Are you kidding? Id love to. That would be amazing. I don't know who I want to stay with though. It all kinda depends on my mom." I said quietly.

"It's okay," Rose said. "Like Eddie said, as long as you are here we don't care who you stay with. You wouldn't be hurting my feelings."

I grinned at both of them. "Alright. Ill do it. I just need to talk to my mom so maybe you guys should go."

Edward looked at me incredulously. "Don't you remember what happened last time I left you to talk to your mom? I'm not going anywhere."

"Don't worry about it. Ill be fine." I said, giving him a sad smile.

"If anything happens to you…"

"Just trust me."

"Then promise me." His eyes were pleading.

"What?"

"You know what Bells."

"Okay. I promise Edward. Ill be safe."

He nodded and kissed me, leaving it at that. Rose looked between us confused. I think she felt out of the loop.

"Well we should be going anyways." She hugged me. "Let's go Eddie! We have planning to do."

"Stop calling me Eddie!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

I could still hear them arguing as they walked out the front door. I smiled for a second before I realized what I had to do. I already knew it wouldn't end well…


	5. Why? Oh Right Im a Moron

Chapter 5-Why? Oh Right I'm A Moron

After about an hour of pacing, I went to go talk to my mom. It was the last thing I wanted to do but I knew I had to. I walked slowly into her room being scared to death.

My eyes scanned her room. It was so plain. All that has ever been in it is a twin bed and a small dresser. The rest she always refused to unpack.

I found her sitting on her bed looking at pictures of her and my dad with a just emptied bottle of vodka lying next to her. Uh oh, maybe I should come back later. I tried to turn and leave quietly.

"Come to apologize?" She slurred, not looking up from her pictures.

"Apologize? No, I was going to ask you something but I changed my mind." I said cautiously.

She looked up with a blank stare. "No. No, Ask me. What?"

I noticed how she swayed slightly, even as she was sitting.

Being me, I figured it couldn't get any worse. You know the poor me routine, right? I decided to bring it up slowly.

"Mom, I've never disagreed with you in anything, nothing at all. I've gone along with everything you and dad did and every place you dragged me to. The thing is I really want to stay here. People here love me and I made a home here. So did you. And I don't know what made you change your mind all of a sudden but I don't think its fair to me. Both Edward and Rose asked me to stay. I can live with one of them."

She tilted her head to the side. "Aw. How cute, you and Edward living together, an adorable high school couple. Ha-ha. He's a very nice boy but we both know the truth here Bella. He doesn't really love you. Guys like him don't like people like you. Your selfish and uncaring and stupid and even your own daddy didn't think you were worth shit. I agree with him. I've dealt with you for the past two years being as nice as I possibly could and yeah you're right I was happy but now I'm not. Edward would leave you anyways. You are not worth it. As for Rosalie, I doubt my sister would like you taking up space in her house. So if you like it or not, you're coming with me, kid."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. Even though I saw her face flash with fury and her hand before it came anywhere near me, I didn't try to stop her. Her fingers wrapped tightly around my neck and I was pushed forcefully up against the wall struggling for breath. She gripped my neck tighter earning a cough from me.

"Get it straight little missy. You're not going anywhere but where I say you can. You don't deserve anyone anyways. You're lucky you even have _me_!" She yelled.

I glared menacingly, trying hard to hold back tears. "Get. The. Fuck. Off of me."

She pushed away from me, turning around back to her pictures.

"What happened to you? If I'm such a mistake then why don't you let me go?" I whispered.

She scoffed. "Leave now Bella."

I growled at her before letting my past take over. I ran into my room looking for the small box I always pack last.

I'm a mistake eh? I don't deserve anything? I can't handle it anymore.

This isn't something I'm strong enough for. And if I have to leave Edward and Rose then I might as well go back to my old self.

There's nothing else I can do. I give up.

I found the box I was looking for, tearing it open to find my three shiny razors. I smiled and slid one out, pulling back the sleeve of my Paramore hoodie. I sighed as it pierced the skin of my right wrist. Something told me it went deeper then ever before but I didn't really feel it.

Everything started to blur around the edges.

Flashbacks of this same scene ran through my mind. My dad hitting me until I couldn't move. Seeing my mom being beat up. A beer bottle being thrown at my face leaving a scar. The day my dad left and my mom took it out on me. Every single detail, every wound, every memory that I didn't want see or deal with again. It all just came back, making me feel worse than ever before

Shit…no. You know what? What ever.

I let myself fall farther into nothingness. I felt like I was floating. Oh well.

I thought of only one person. Him.

Before him I never had the chance to fall in love. Sure, I've had had other boyfriends but I either had to leave before we got close or I just wasn't into them at all. Edward was the real thing, the reason I had to stay sane.

_Ha!_ I laughed in my mind. _Good going. You should have thought that BEFORE you went and cut yourself_.

Then I remembered…I promised him. I broke the two promises I made him. I cut AND I wasn't safe.

_No, no, no, no! Fuck! Bella you moron. He's gonna be so upset._ I held on to my last string of consciousness as long as possible.

I vaguely remember hearing a gasp and my mother's voice saying. "Ugh. Not again."


	6. Time For you to go Part 1

Chapter 6-Part 1

Beep...beep...beep…It sounded like hospital monitors. Why am I in the hospital? And why does my arm hurt? Ugh…and my neck. Am I missing something? Oh, Then it all came back to me. Aww man… That really happened?

There was a radio playing "Hello Seattle" by Owl City somewhere near my bed. The song didn't suit the mood. It was too cheerful.

I could hear someone walking back and forth across the room. Pacing? I slowly opened my eyes. It was Edward. With every step he got more upset, more anxious. He was shaking.

"Edward?" I whispered. "What are you doing here and where's my mom?" _Not that I want her to be here…_

He looked up at me. His eyes were red and puffy and he looked like he hadn't slept for days even though I'm sure I wasn't out that long. He looked miserable. Why, why, why, **why**? I just love how it's him who always gets hurt because of me…

"Bella." He breathed and ran up to me and kissed every inch of my face. He was trembling and I could feel his tears on my skin. "You promised me Bella. You promised you wouldn't do it again. You promised that you would be safe! I just can't believe…I mean…"

"Shhhh, its okay. I'm okay.…" I murmured. Seeing him upset made me want to die the most painful way.

"Okay?! Okay?! You lost so much blood! I thought I lost you for sure! I was sitting at my house worrying about you, hoping you were okay! And then what was I to think when the ambulance pulled up not 30 minutes later?! I was there, not able to come see you for hours thinking of ways to end my life if you didn't wake up! Do you know how that felt?!" Edward yelled.

I gasped. "Wha? No! I'm so sorry! I'm sorry…I didn't mean..." I choked out. I pulled him closer to me and held him until his rage calmed down.

The words that my mom said to me came into my mind. _Your selfish and uncaring and stupid and even your own daddy didn't think you were worth shit. _From what he said I realized that what Mom said was true. Why didn't I think of him? Why did I selfishly cut myself when Edward asked me not to? Because I'm uncaring that's why. I slowly pushed him away.

I had to tell him and I had to say it fast. "Edward, I can't do this. I mean look at you. You can't love me. Just…don't. Go home. You need to live your life and no matter how much you love me…you should find someone who deserves you." I stifled a sob.

_This is right Bella. It's right. Your mom was right. Just look at what happened when you didn't listen. Its all your fault._

Edward stared at me speechless, trying hard not to show his hurt. He slowly sat down at the end of my bed, his hands shaking. "You…want…me…to leave?"

"Yes."

"But why? I can't do that."

I was trying so hard not to break down into tears. "Listen, I can't do this to you! I'm selfish and I'm stupid. I'm moving in a couple days and I don't want to make this any harder on you than it already is. I need you to leave so you can be happy." I looked down at my arm that was wrapped, not wanting to see his expression.

He didn't say anything and I had to look up. His face was frustrated but confused, wondering why I would ask such a thing. He glared at me, his emerald eyes boring into mine. "No you listen, I love you and I'm not going anywhere no matter what you do or say. Bella, there's no me without you. Understand it. Please!

"These two years have been the best of my life...To me, before you my life had no meaning. You taught me how to smile at the littlest things and not get stepped on by other people. Yes, you're stubborn and selfless and you drive everyone insane but you're the most amazing person I have ever met. And I know it's crazy to hear me say it after what? 4 days? But I've been in love with you since you fell on me freshman year.

"You don't see yourself clearly. Don't question what we have no matter what everyone else tells you; your mom, anyone at school or even Rosalie. I want you to see how much I—"

He didn't get any farther. I threw myself at him, not caring about the pain in my wrist, my neck or the needles pulling at my arms. I was sobbing as I buried my face in his chest, clinging to him as if my life depended on it. I kept whispering "I'm sorry. I love you," over and over again.

Edward lifted my chin. "Shhh, Bella its okay. I need you to keep your promise though."-He lifted my arm and looked at the bandage-"Please, Please, Don't bleed, especially not for someone who doesn't deserve it."

"Okay...I promise but I don't know what that means to you after I broke the last two…" I sighed.

He nodded. "No, I believe you. Bella, I'm not allowing you to live at that house. Look at what it's done to you. We are both going to talk to your mother together and we'll see where that goes."

I looked at him with wide eyes. My heart beat quickened and the machine beeped like crazy.

A nurse walked in, probably hearing the machine. She looked bored, like she didn't want to be there. "Ah, Bella you're awake." She checked my arm to make sure it was still stitched up and put some sort of medication on it. She looked at Edward. "Could I speak to you outside for a moment please?"

Edward nodded and they walked out into the hallway. It was easy to hear what they were saying through the quiet room.

"So, Edward, is it? The cut on her arm was pretty deep…Do you know anything about a history of cutting with Bella?" the nurse asked concerned.

"Shouldn't you be talking with her mother about this?" he asked, sounding tense. I felt like I should be out there explaining instead of him having to be in this situation.

"Her mother refuses to answer any of our calls and when she does answer none of our questions are answered." She sighed loudly.

"Hmm…Well I believe that. It seems that Bella does have a certain history with….um…cutting but since she's lived here she has barely cut once and only in the most recent past. To say I'm not worried though would be a lie."

I couldn't handle hearing anymore, it was too sad to hear how concerned and gentle Edward's voice became. I gave up trying to eavesdrop what they were saying and used this time to think.

I need to stop listening to my mother. Every time I did I some how ended up here. Why haven't I seen it before? Is Edward really right? He really does love me and I shouldn't question it...I think. He's not going to let me go. He's not going to give up like everyone else did. I need to believe in him. I can trust him. I can.

Edward walked into the room then and sat gently beside me. He brushed my hair off of my forehead and kissed it. What he said surprised me. I thought he would talk about what was going on in the hall, but it really wasn't something I wanted to know either. "The nurse said you can leave tomorrow. We'll talk to your mom then, okay? We can do this. Trust me."

"I do." I smiled and pulled him down to my level to kiss him. He grinned against my lips.


End file.
